Just Once and then I'm Gone
by jeezlouiez
Summary: School was hard to begin with. Both Ben and Travis were content with their routines; Travis decides to take things to the next level, and everything starts to crumble all around them. Ben/Travis, more to come.


"God…and did you _see_ Jenny?"

The group of students hushed their voices and then burst out laughing.

Ben looked away from them and closed his locker.

It's not like he didn't have thoughts like that either. It's not like he wouldn't gossip about teachers or other students. He wasn't some angel child…but he still thought it was wrong.

He'd never personally heard them make fun of him or spread rumors concerning him, but maybe they had. He didn't know. He wouldn't. They were the 'popular' kids, he wasn't entitled to speak to them.

Just as soon as that thought had crossed his mind as it always had, one of them broke from the group and started walking toward him.

Just as soon as he realized this he turned away and started walking.

"Hey!"

He tensed greatly when a hand strained to grab his shoulder.

He turned around, slouching slightly, and looking generally unhappy. He wasn't the kind of guy to fake being happy when he wasn't—and he was rarely all that happy.

"Hey, Travis."

Said boy put his hands on his hips, looking up at Ben.

"Where are you going so fast?"

"Class."

Travis huffed, immediately looking at his watch. "Jesus Ben, it doesn't even start for another five minutes. You don't _have_ to be the teachers pet, you know!"

Ben didn't retaliate. "Okay." He said flatly, and looked at the popular kid expectantly. When he got nothing but a weird look, he spoke again. "What do you need, Travis?"

"You."

To say the look on Ben's face was confused would be an understatement. He definitely showed that he tried really hard to process that response.

But ultimately, he gave up, shrugged, and walked off.

"Hey!" Travis groaned and trotted to keep up with Ben's stupid long strides.

"An answer would be nice."

Ben didn't like it when the popular ones talked to him. He could talk to the teachers all day and be fine, but give him a popular kid and everything got awkward.

He felt frustration boil and he almost snapped.

"Well I don't know, Travis, your answer was pretty vague and I don't feel like belonging to anyone today."

It was full as sass, but Travis only smiled. "Not today…this weekend. My house."

"What," Ben stopped abruptly and Travis stopped even more so a couple of steps in front of him. "like a party or something?"

"Yeah, for two."

Ben stared at him for a good long moment, and started walking again, the moment of breaking the eye contact almost unnoticeable to both of them.

He could hear Travis laugh almost giddily behind him and say "Is that a yes?" but he didn't get his answer until later.

—-

"So?"

Ben looked up with a mouthful of food at Travis' happy expectant face. He simply looked back down and continued eating.

Travis fumed and Ben could hear it. It would be bad later on, but he could probably deal with it.

But then Travis put his tray down and sat across from him.

"Is that a PB&J sandwich?"

He probably didn't mean to sound so disgusted and weirded out by the look on his face, so Ben shrugged it off. "Yeah."

There was a silence while Travis started eating, and then he came out with, "Is it..chunky?"

Ben swallowed and stared at Travis, then back at his food. "I like smooth."

Travis smiled, apparently accepting that as a valid answer to his curiosity.

They ate the rest of their food in silence, even though he'd watched Travis a lot, and saw him stop himself from asking things many times.

He sighed and left before most people, like he usually did.

"God, Ben, wait!"

Ben sighed again as he turned around almost tiredly and waited for Travis.

"Hey, so about this weekend."

Ben closed his eyes and then looked up, heaving another sigh. "I don't know, Travis. What would we even do?"

The smile Travis gave him was enough to make him blush in embarrassment.

"Geez, man!" His voice cracked and he quickly turned around and started walking away. "I don't like this." he muttered, though it was directed at his classmate.

—-

It wasn't until right after their last class, which happened to be their only class together, that Travis finally got somewhere with his question.

Travis was full of energy i asking, but he had to cut it short. Mr. Parker had walked out of the classroom and, while passing by, put his hand firmly on Travis' head.

"Settle down."

Ben smirked, he couldn't help it.

"So, Ben?"

Ben stood up straighter and looked at his teacher with more interest than Travis would ever be happy admitting.

"Yes, Mr. Parker?"

Their teacher crossed his arms and regarded his student. Travis was really confused with the way Ben had said their teachers name—like he had a stroke while he was talking or something.

"So….you know what, I can't be talking to you, I have too much work to do." And just as he was about to leave, Ben crossed his arms.

"Yeah, like go home and actually make a meal for yourself."

Mr. Parker turned around and gave Ben a look that would panic most students, but Ben only kept his smirk.

"Cooking is hard work, Ben. You wouldn't know." he 'ooh'd' and 'burned!' and Ben shook his head as he dashed away almost in a panic.

Travis had his arms crossed and didn't seem too happy.

"So, uhm.." Travis shyly kicked at the floor, barely looking up at Ben. "Uhm."

Ben frowned slightly. He'd never seen Travis act so…well, not like Travis before.

He looked up at him and quietly spoke. "About this weekend…you don't have to come if you don't want to. I mean…talk to your parents first, and all." he cleared his throat. "My dad's not going to be home, he's got a lot of work to do. He said he wanted me to have a friend over. No girls." he laughed feebly at the end, licking his lips and not looking Ben in the eye.

Ben smiled lightly and shrugged. "A friend, Travis. We barely even know each other."

Travis looked up, almost sad. "That's not true."

Ben tilted his head and gave him the sassiest look he had that changed Travis' entire posture. "You only learned TODAY that my lunch is a PB&J sandwich." He paused, nodding lightly. "I eat that literally every day."

Travis smiled hopelessly. "We could-uh, could…"

Ben waited for him.

"We could get to know each other."

That and the genuine look on Travis' face sold it for him. He agreed to talk it over with his parents. They exchanged cell phone numbers and went their separate ways.

—-

"Mom! Mom! Hi dad. Mom, guess what!?"

Mrs. Paul laughed and glanced at her husband who made a hysterical gesture as if he was screaming and drowning and walked away. It wasn't often their son was excited.

"What is it, dear?"

Ben hopped in place and pursed his lips, but he was smiling and it was almost impossible.

"I made a friend!"

—-

_'My parents said I could come over and spend the night. : )'_

_'both nights?/'_

_'Yeah but I have to be home by noon on sunday'_

_'k sweet man ill come pick u up in the morning so get ready!'_

_'Okay.'_

Ben sighed and dropped his phone on the floor. He was blushing. He didn't have time to pack, he had to figure out every single thing to NOT say while at Travis' house. A whole day and morning with him? That's a whole lot of time to fuck up and say some embarrassing things.

Like that he had the biggest stupidest crush on him.

And that he was gay. Y'know, those two go hand in hand.

…

He groaned and rolled over in bed.

—-

They both had gotten up early, but Travis didn't leave to pick Ben up until after his dad left. They got on their bikes and pedaled their way to Travis' house. Ben trailed behind just a bit, because he wasn't too sure where he lived. But not far enough away to not hear his new friends rant.

Man, 'friend'. It was weird. He hadn't really had anyone he could call that for a while—besides Mr. Parker—and he'd pretty much gotten used to going every day not talking to anyone unless he needed to. He never had to share his interests or visit people.

A panic washed over Ben as he realized he had no idea what he was going to talk to Travis about, despite thinking over so much. What did he like? Travis was a popular kid, he was going to judge him no matter what.

He pursed his lips and continued to pedal, watching Travis as he groaned loudly about how strict his father was with rules, and he found himself tuning him out. Not on purpose, but because his own thoughts were groaning louder.

_He's going to hate me._

—-

"God, Ben, you're really quiet."

"And you're really loud." Ben didn't mean to snap, but Travis had that always-snarky accent to him and he couldn't help it. After the slight pause after that, he nervously added, 'It evens out, y'know?" There was an awkward silence as the garage door opened.

He frowned as he looked at Travis who looked kind of offended, but then he smiled and shrugged, laughing it off.

They set their bikes up against the walls carefully so as to not knock any 'precious' thing of Travis' father's over, and went inside, closing the garage door behind them.

As soon as the door to the garage was closed, Travis shoved Ben against it. The force and the pulling was the only way the dark haired popular kid made his way to Ben's lips.

Ben was shocked to say the absolute very least. And the worst part? He didn't stop until Ben put real force into pushing him away—as much as he didn't want to.

"_JESUS_, Travis!?"

He got laughter in response. Travis had stumbled from getting pushed, but now held himself almost proudly.

"Jesus, Ben. What?"

"What do you mean, what?"

Ben was panicking and he knew it. They both knew it. It was written all over his face. He closed his eyes and tried to calm down, using the door behind him as support.

"Why did you do that?"

Travis sighed. "I told you I wanted you."

He looked at him. Back at school, Ben had wished that it was true but shrugged it off. Now he didn't know what to think.

"Are you hungry?"

"Excuse me!?"

Travis laughed and walked away, to the kitchen, and left Ben to sit there and compose himself.

After a moment, he frustratingly fixed his shirt and walked to go see Travis, practically ignoring all that just happened.

"So," Travis trailed off, running a hand through his raven hair as he turned around and placed a container of unopened peanut butter in front of Ben, who was standing on the other side of the island.

Ben frowned slightly. He leaned on the island and waited for the rest of Travis' sentence, but it never came. So he flatly stated, "Peanut butter." and glanced up at him.

Travis smiled widely. "I got it for you. That's why I was late."

Ben kept his frown. "I thought you were late because of your Dad.."

Travis smiled. "Yep, because he wouldn't get ready fast enough."

Ben was quiet.

"You're blushing."

"No."

—-

Despite the slight, weird tension between the two, they got along just fine. Travis had indeed gone shopping just to get a few things so Ben wouldn't be forced to 'go a whole day without PB&J'.

And as worried as the brunet was about not having anything to say, he realized he had plenty, and it came very naturally. He relaxed quite a bit, and stopped being so 'emotionless', as Travis had put it.

He also took notice of how obnoxious Travis was, even more so than he was at school. He was loud and, strangely understanding. Maybe the word he was looking for was gay, but he didn't feel right pinning that label on him, despite the evidence for it.

"Are you like this when you're with your Dad?" He almost smirked, watching Travis as he was doing some kind of reenactment of some past event.

"No, I'm like this!" Travis quickly and dramatically let his jacket fall off his shoulders, taking a more seductive stance.

Ben stared, than laughed belatedly.

He lied and told himself he wasn't blushing, even if he was. So he shook his head and watched and listened to the rest of his story.

—-

After a while, they'd settled down. It was getting dark so they put dinner in the oven—it was a veggie lasagna—and put a movie on. Well, they would, once they figured out which one to watch.

There was a bookcase filled with nothing but DVDs, the worst part? None of them were in the right cases. So every time they found a good movie, it went in one pile, and the rest in a different one. They had to organize all the disks alphabetically, and if they didn't have pictures on them they went to their own pile as well.

By the time they were done, the timer went off.

"Hey, finish up those last ones and I'll get that."

Travis stood up and left for the kitchen, Ben silently agreeing to fix the rest of the cases.

He put them up and kept the ones they liked out as Travis came over with the plates, sitting them on the table.

"What do you want to drink?"

"Uh, I don't know."

Travis said and walked away, "Well, come on!"

Staring in the refrigerator did neither of them good, and it took them a good five minutes to choose grape juice.

—-

Dinner was delicious, and they'd settled on watching some dumb horror movie that they laughed at, mostly. They jumped a few times, here and there.

"I feel sick."

That wasn't the first time either of them said it during the movie, either. The way it had been filmed made them feel dizzy.

But they managed to make it through the whole movie, keep their dinner down, but sadly they lost both of their masculinity at the last scene.

They laughed nervously before putting a happier movie on.

—-

It was dark now, the dishes were clean, and they were yawning by the end of their second movie.

"Ready for bed?"

Ben shrugged, glancing at him. "Sure, whenever."

They turned off the lights and went upstairs, where Travis showed Ben his room. It was filled with crap, but relatively clean.

Before Ben could say anything about sleeping on the floor, Travis told him he could have the bed.

"But I'm the guest. I don't want you to have to sleep on the floor."

Travis looked up at him, crouched on the floor by his dresser. "I never said I was sleeping on the floor." He grabbed his pajamas and stood up, looking a confused Ben in the face.

"Another room?"

Travis smiled before moving and starting to strip. "No."

Ben frowned, and looked at the bed. It wasn't all that big, not for two people.

He whined.

"Why?"

Travis sighed and kicked his day clothes into a pile, sitting on the bed.

"God, Ben, would you stop questioning me and just change and come here?"

There was a long silence before Ben gave in and changed. He went to leave the room, but Travis groaned.

"Ben, just change!"

Ben felt a little anxious, so he turned around and quickly changed. When he turned around, Travis shook his head and motioned for him to get in bed. When he did, the lights when off.

—-

It hadn't taken that long for Ben to fall asleep despite the slight crampness of the bed. He had a little sister, so he was used to sharing what little space he had if needed.

He wasn't prepared for what he woke up to, though. No.

he was not prepared for Travis' hand trailing along his crotch, and back down again.

He twitched violently now that he was coherent enough, and almost pushed Travis off the bed. He held on though, and laughed lightly.

"God, Ben, what's your problem?"

His voice a bit husky. Ben frowned greatly. "I didn't come here for this."

Travis sighed lightly. "But you came here knowing full well that I wanted to get to know you."

"I thought you meant becoming friends."

Travis put his arms around Ben and he tensed up. "That too, Ben. But I told you I wanted you…you agreed to this." he paused. "You could have left earlier."

Ben shook his head in disbelief and Travis moved away. He moved down, and Ben hitched his legs and let out shaky "No"s until Travis stopped trying to grab him.

"Relax, Ben."

He shook his head again and propped himself up on his elbows. "I don't want this."

Travis smiled and forced his hand between Ben's legs, and he let out a noise that Travis actually couldn't discern if it was pain, anger, or pleasure. He continued anyway.

The victim laid back down and covered his face, letting out a whine. "Please stop."

Travis rested his head on Ben's legs. They were up and tense in an attempt to keep him away from his crotch. It wasn't working but he stopped being so forceful about it.

"C'mon, Ben." he practically purred. After a moment, he removed his hand and placed them on each side of Ben, lightly moving his hands along his legs.

His plan, whatever it was, had apparently worked. Because Ben found himself relaxing, and Travis slowly but surely start massaging his thighs.

He continued to relax, and this was an invitation for Travis. He moved a hand over his crotch, causing Ben to tense slightly. He moved away in a fluid motion back to his leg, and after a moment went back. He stayed this time, seeing as he got no protests.

He must have gotten too excited because he grabbed the brunet's pants and started pulling down.

"N-no..!"

Travis visibly frowned as Ben grabbed his pants and kept them where they were.

His assailant sighed and went to lay next to him, watching him as he kept his eyes closed and breathed heavily.

"I think you want this as much as I do."

Ben shook his head. His body was disagreeing with him, even part of his mind was, but he still had to say no.

"Please.."

Ben huffed and tried to ignore him, but now that he was relaxing again, Travis grabbed one of his hands. It seemed innocent enough, until he moved it to be on his own crotch.

Ben flinched away, and Travis sighed.

"Oh my GOD Ben you have to _choose_."

The brunet let out another whine. 'Excuse me?"

"It's me or you.." Travis' voiced was laced with lust for the other and Ben would be lying if he said it didn't turn him on more than he already was.

He placed his hand back where his friend had put it. Travis sighed, and Ben nervously moved.

"Oh, God.."

Ben frowned. He was barely doing anything to him but Travis was practically moaning already. And he was getting off on it…Jesus. He had to stop. He moved his hand away and Travis let out a shuddering sigh.

"Ben…" Travis moaned.

He didn't like it—well, he did, but that was beside the point. He loved it but he needed to not.

"Ben..Ben," Travis groaned when he got no response, taking the initiative and getting on top of the brunet. His eyes were wide. Travis smiled sweetly at him.

He moved to kiss him, lightly. And to his surprise, he took it. Even more so he kissed back.

More invitations.

Travis took to kissing him passionately, touching his face while he did so. He explored. He traced his jawline, his ear, and down his neck. He moved back up to his hair and grabbed a handful, but not hard enough to hurt him. Oh no, on the contrary. He made him moan, and that was his first victory of the night.

They were running out of breath but they didn't care. They let themselves feel light headed and slipped each other the tongue in a fit of arousal. Travis couldn't help but thrust against the boy underneath him—he was caught in the moment, and he'd be damned if he could control himself completely.

They moaned against each other and when Travis realized how tightly Ben was holding onto him he had to slow down. So he stopped the action below and slowed their kissing down. Ben sighed and panting and moaned pathetically as Travis moved to trail kisses down his jawline, his neck, and moved his shirt to kiss his collar bone.

He then propped himself up on one arm and lifted Ben's shirt up, leaning down to give him a few kisses there. He moved his free hand to move along one of the brunet's legs again, and he spoke up.

"Jesus, Travis, please.."

Travis looked up. "Please what, Ben?"

Ben felt tears in his eyes from embarrassment. Here he was, living one of his biggest sexual fantasies, and he could barely handle it. He wanted it to happen, but at the same time it was so surreal and he almost tricked himself into thinking that it wasn't happening.

"Ben?"

He whimpered and shook his head.

Travis ceased all that he was doing and moved to look him in the face. "You're going to have to tell me."

It took him a minute and they looked each other in the eyes but he couldn't do it like that. So he had to look away and mutter it. "Please t-touch m-me."

Travis smiled and let out a breathy "Okay." before moving down on him.

He grabbed his pants again and this time Ben didn't stop him. So he pulled them down to his ankles, and moved back up. He bit down on the bulge rather lightly, preparing and moving with the thrust that came from the brunet. He breathed out a laugh, heating things up just a bit more. He teased him through his boxers a bit before finally taking them off.

He took his friends erection into his mouth and took his time. Going overboard almost cut things short earlier, and he didn't want that. Not yet, he hadn't heard him moan enough.

So he teased him quite a bit. Licking the head and and down the shaft, kissing and squeezing his thighs. Ben let out a whine, but this one was different. This one had a name attached, and the owner of that name gave him a reward. He took him in his mouth again, but he didn't tease him this time. This time he sucked and bobbed his head slowly, still talking his time to let his tongue explore.

Ben moaned. "Travis.."

He kept going just to hear the moans. He reached down into his own pants because he could barely take it, but when Ben's breath started to hitch, he stopped. And almost made him cry.

He laughed lightly, laying next to him. "Sorry..I wanted to drag this on.."

The brunet's breathing was labored, and he looked over to him. They both had already broken out in a sweat. The blanket stayed on them this whole time, and it got rather toasty. But they didn't move to remove it.

"This is torture.." Ben whimpered.

Travis smiled and almost purred again. "This is the opposite of torture, Ben.."

There was movement as Travis shimmied out of his pants, and sighed contentedly.

"You know what, Travis..?"

"Mm?"

Ben looked up at the ceiling. He wanted to look him in the eyes and say it, but they were closed..and he didn't have the guts to do it, anyway.

"I really, _really_ like you."

"You don't," he inhaled, "say."

Ben frowned slightly. "I've had a crush on you for a long time."

He didn't get much in response, just a pleasant noise.

"Travis I, I think I love you."

Travis reached around Ben and held him closed, moaning into him. This was about the point that Ben realized he was touching himself. He couldn't handle how excited he was, with Travis panting on him like that, so he reached down.

But he stopped him.

He stopped everything, and Ben whined again.

"You should really keep doing that, it's cute."

That earned him a scoff, but he didn't care. Instead he got back on top of him, and for once the boy beneath him smiled. He had to stay there a moment to admire it.

He gave him a few innocent kisses, but they progressed quickly because of how excited they were. They barely had anymore control, and nothing that wasn't bringing pleasure was just plain frustrating. So Travis stopped toying with him.

Their kissing wasn't as frantic as his had been before. It was slower, more coordinated. Their tongues were exploring and getting to know each other—as were their hands. Ben became more bold and slipped a hand up Travis' shirt, the other trailing through his hair.

Travis was pulling Ben's hair a little rougher than he was before, and continued to kiss and bite his lip. He thrust against him in response to the way he was pulling him down, and he whined. Travis smiled. This guy really did love him. One compliment and he took note of it. He sighed and moved to kiss his neck and nip at his ear, causing more whines and moans from the brunet.

Things get sloppy and loud and out of control. Ben had his legs over Travis, keeping him close. He was grabbing onto him tightly as Travis deliberately thrust harder for him. Ben got loud, moaning and groaning his 'friend's name. He quieted down slightly, his moaning reduced to gasps of air as he came in a hot throbbing mess. Travis stopped, and nuzzled the boy under him. He was breathing hard, but he didn't let him go.

It took him a bit, but he released Travis and he laid beside him.

"..ew."

Travis made a face, breathing hard himself. "Don't you mean, 'wow', or, 'that was great'?"

Ben closed his eyes and smiled lightly. "…yeah."

Travis let him calm down before bringing anything up.

"Uhm…Ben?"

He looked over at him, his face still really red.

"I uh, didn't…didn't finish. Could you..help?" He let out a helpless laugh and Ben was almost struck with guilt. He was still nervous, but he only hesitated a little bit this time.

He moved his hand down as Travis got closer and grabbed a hold of him, starting out slow and steady but working up a rhythm.

Travis' breathing became labored and he grabbed onto Ben tightly, swallowing and moaning with shuddering breathes. It didn't take long for Ben to pick up speed and for his raven haired boy to lose himself. He released with an uneven moan into the brunet's neck.

"Ben.."

—-

In the morning, he felt like shit. He probably should have felt amazing but his head hurt and his body felt like spaghetti. He sat up in bed, not trusting himself to get up quite yet.

And then he realized.

Travis wasn't anywhere to be seen.

"Travis?"

He forced himself up, and as much as he didn't like it, searched the house. He was gone, that's for sure.

He felt sluggish. And kind of sad.

If he had some errands to run or something he could have told him.

He sighed.

In the bathroom, he looked at himself and frowned. He looked tired as shit.

He sat down, running a hand through his hair. His phone went off, so he went to get it out of his pants on the floor.

_'be out by noon dont bother lockin up'_

—-

"Honey, are you all right? You look tired."

Ben managed a smile. "I'm fine, Mom. We just stayed up late."

She gave him a smile and shook her head, telling him to go put his stuff up and to come back down for lunch. He did as he was told, checking himself in the bathroom once again.

He was getting better and better at hiding that he'd been crying.

—-

After dinner, he got the courage to send Travis a text.

_'What happened?'_

It was a vague question. All he wanted was clarity. Clarity that Travis hadn't just…left him. There was a pit in his stomach, and he wanted it to go away.

Before bed, he got a text.

_'see u at school lol'_

It was…lighthearted enough, but it didn't help him. Not in the least.

And he was now scared of going to school.

—-

Laughter.

Ben looked away from the stares and closed his locker.

The day had panned out exactly the way he thought it would, worst case scenario.

People were bumping into him on purpose, shoving him around, laughing, calling him names that had him nearly in tears.

This was all Travis' fault. He didn't want to believe it.

But he had to, with the evidence everywhere. The pictures that _someone_ had to painstakingly go through to print. To pay for. Just for this.

It was a whole lot of work just to make one person feel miserable.

"I think I love you!" people mocked as they walked by him, laughing as he did his best to ignore them and not become over emotional.

He saw Travis, and he had half a mind to turn around. But he didn't. He walked up to him and his little posse by his locker, "Travis." he said firmly.

They didn't stop laughing and smiling, but they acknowledged him. They quoted it again, "I think I love you," as the faint audio of him saying it could be heard on his 'friend's phone.

Ben shook his head, staring right at Travis.

"I can't believe you fell for it."

"I can't believe it either."

Ben's harsh response surprised most of those in ear shot.

"Y'know, Travis, if you wanted to make fun of me so bad, you didn't have to go through all of this."

Travis turned his phone off and crossed his arms. "Oh, yeah? Why not?"

"Because being with you wasn't all it's chocked up to be."

Travis' posse immediately got defensive, calling Ben names. People started taking sides, and things got out of hand. Insults were being thrown back and forth, but it went downhill, especially for Ben.

"I thought…" he was at a loss now. His anger boiled down into sadness and he cursed himself for feeling so strongly about this.

"You thought _wrong_."

The banter from the crowd could be heard throughout all the halls, catching much more attention than was wanted.

The principal frowned greatly at this crowd, pushing his way into it and looking straight at Travis. "Detention!"

Ben found himself smiling, even if it was just a little bit, at those words. A small victory for the day.

"The BOTH of you!"

And just like that, it was gone.


End file.
